Ich bin immer begeistert, wenn ich Listen mit Lebenstipps finde. Solche Listen gibt es wohl zu jedem Thema, aber ich denke man tut gut daran, sich – zumindest teilweise – an diese Kompakt-Weisheiten zu halten bzw. sich das beste davon rauszupicken.
Diese Liste habe ich auf unserer Reise gefunden. In einer Bar – natürlich…

• The best public restrooms are in hotels.
• After college, never stay out after midnight three nights in a row… Unless something really good comes up on the third night.
• If riding the bus doesn’t incentivize you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
• When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.
• When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go. And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.
• When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
• Tip more than you should.
• When the bouncer says it’s time for you to leave, it is.
• Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you. And it tells these women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
• Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.
• Eat brunch with friends at least every other weekend.
• Be a regular at more than one bar.
• No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman.
• Posting pictures on Facebook from a private jet or Vegas suite let’s everyone know it’s your first time… and probably the last.
• You can get away with a lot more if you’re the one buying the drinks.
• Ask for a salad instead of fries.
• Don’t split a check.
• Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
• When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.
• Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.
• Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size.
• One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.
• Throw parties. But have someone else clean up the next day.
• Measure yourself only against your previous self.
• If you wear a baseball cap in bars, the girls will assume you are balding.
• Revenge can be a good way of getting over anger.
• If she expects the person you are 20% of the time, 100% of the time, then she doesn’t want you.
• Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
• Avoid that “last” whiskey. You’ve probably had enough.
• If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.
• Learn how to speak before a large audience.
• Do not buy the product insurance.
• No one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
• Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.
• Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.
• Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and will make you more interesting.
• Don’t ever say, “It is what it is.”
• Start a wine collection for your kids when they are born. Add a few cases every year without telling them. It’ll make a phenomenal gift in twenty years.
• Don’t gamble if losing $100 is going to piss you off.