During a seminar, a woman asked,\u201d How do I know if I am with the right person?\u201d
\nThe author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, \u201cIt depends. Is that your partner?\u201d
\nIn all seriousness, she answered \u201cHow did you know?\u201d
\n\u201cLet me answer this question because the chances are good that it\u2019s weighing on your mind.\u201d replied the author.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the answer:
\nEvery relationship has a cycle\u2026 In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn\u2019t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn\u2019t have to DO anything. That\u2019s why it\u2019s called \u201cfalling\u201d in love.
\nPeople in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
\nFalling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It\u2019s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
\nSlowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse\u2019s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.\u00a0At this point, you and\/or your partner might start asking, \u201cAm I with the right person?\u201d And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone\u00a0else. This is when relationships breakdown.\u00a0The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it\u2019s learning to love the person you found.<\/strong>\u00a0People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
\nInfidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
\nI\u2019m not saying that you couldn\u2019t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you\u2019d feel better. But you\u2019d be in the same situation a few years later.
\nBecause (listen carefully to this)
\nThe key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it\u2019s learning to love the Person you found.
\nSUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know.\u00a0WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
\nLove is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
\nLove is therefore a \u201cdecision\u201d. Not just a feeling.<\/p>\n